Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Hey there, Boo Boo! Wait, what?

Yes, this makes total sense to me.

Apparently, Justin Timberlake will be voicing Boo Boo in the upcoming Yogi Bear movie.

You know, some days this blog just kind of writes itself.

Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, 'cause when I leave for the night I ain't coming back

Would these two fresh-faced Disney kids go anywhere unsavory?

You know, it's funny. A couple of the tween blogs I keep on my Google reader lit up yesterday with articles about how Zac Efron was in town to premier his new dead-sibling-meets-manic-pixie-dream-girl flick, and also went to In the Heights to see Corbin. D'awww. The blogs explained that they went out together afterwards to catch up. One even specified that they drank mojitos. Cool beans.

And yet somehow, these blogs TOTALLY FAILED to mention that in actual fact, omg you guys, Zef and Corbin WENT TO A STRIP CLUB and dropped TWO GRAND on drinks and dances. OH BOYS. It's like they knew I had nothing to post about and decided to go get lap dances JUST FOR ME.* I dunno, I think it says something about how much I love these kids that I just find this endearing. I react like I do when my cat does something particularly cute: "Awww, who's an adorable widdle heartthrob who wishes he was a grown up? It's you! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Though I think the funniest part might be the mystery insider's comment that their favorite strippers all vaguely resembled Vanessa. Um, should someone tell Zef that he can probably actually can hit that as soon as he gets back to LA? Presumably without spending 2k? I mean, he's dumb, but not THAT dumb, right? "That night, Efron walked the red carpet at the premiere of Charlie St. Cloud. Hudgens was not at his side, although she attended the LA screening last week." Right. Surely that's connected to his stripper escapades, and not because she's busy with another project on the other coast, and also has attended this movie's premier once already. SCANDAL!

But what I'm really curious about is who the mysterious "other male friend" with them was, especially since he was the one spending all the money, it seems. Having grown up on late 80s/early 90s after-school specials, I'm assuming he was the out of character Buster Bunny to their hesitant-but-easily-persuaded Plucky and Hamton. Presumably now that they've tasted the forbidden delights of likker and wimmin, they're also both alcoholics who will die in a car crash, y'know, tomorrow. I bet Hudge will look awesome in a black veil.

So remember, kids! Cartoon All-Stars say don't do drugs! But if you do find yourself drinking in a strip club, please make sure it's at least this hilarious.

* I choose not to speculate about anyone's sexuality in this particular blog post. Feel free to insert your own joke here about how there's very little other reason one or the other or both would be interested in lapdances from the ladies. I'm just sayin'. I mean, not sayin'. I mean…

Monday, July 26, 2010

Because it's been awhile...

Dear Zef,

I know you're trying really hard, but you're still not James Dean. Sorry, bro.


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Down on Klickitat Street.

I love Beverly Cleary's Ramona books more than I can properly express, and I was both excited and worried about the new movie adaptation, mostly thanks to Selena Gomez, who I enjoy quite a lot as an actress, but who is pretty much the last person I'd cast as sensible, awkward, somewhat-dowdy Beezus. Still, I went, because according to the trailer they were going for a Beezus/Henry Huggins romance, and I have been gunning for those two to get married since I was about six.

And, well. Ramona and Beezus does not fit my mental image of the books at all, really. But it is a cute, bright, funny movie about an extremely likeable little girl, and I enjoyed it immensely.

Sure, the movie's a little overfull, since they tried to cram in plot elements from most of the eight Ramona books. And the special effects-laden fantasies of Ramona's imagination running away with her don't really work. And Henry (who is, in general, kind of blah) does not appear to have his famous dog, Ribsy, which is a travesty beyond expression.

But, on the plus side:

- Joey King is adorable as Ramona, who is spunky and creative and lovable, and holds up the theme of being true to yourself very well.

- Her relationship with her father - she was always a daddy's girl in the books - is beautifully done, and John Corbett does a great job in general at playing Ramona's stressed but loving father. Like, I want him to be my dad. So great.

- The romance between Ramona's Aunt Beatrice (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Ramona's best friend's Uncle Hobart (Josh Duhamel) is really sweet and fun. Also, I don't think I'm going to be able to reread the books without having the hots for Uncle Hobart now.

- The cat(s?) playing Picky-Picky is precious.

- It was really funny! Some parts had me laughing kind of embarrassingly loud (best line: Beezus tearfully asks "Who could love a girl named Beezus?" and Ramona timidly offers "...Jesus?").

- Selena Gomez, while not my Beezus, plays an acerbic Type A older sister very well, and is pleasingly aggressive in her romance with Henry.

- ...and all the little moments from the books that made me squeal. Susan's curls! Willa Jean being a brat! There's a moment when their dad brings home gummy bears for the girls in a paper bag, just like in the books, and I kept nudging my poor friend in sheer glee. Books! Books I love, on the screen!

In conclusion, while not my Ramona, this was a good Ramona, and I'm glad there's a fun, cheerful movie out there about girls and family and imagination, and gladder still that it'll probably get more kids reading the books, because those books are darn good.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pen my four-trillion-word Henry/Beezus fanfic. AND DAMMIT, THERE WILL BE RIBSY.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


I loved Drake and Josh, and have been keeping an eye on the the careers of both stars since it ended. A few days ago, when I heard that Drake would be appearing in The Fairly Oddparents movie, I was:

1. pleased to hear that he is actually going to be in a thing, since he's been kind of MIA since the show ended,
2. troubled that he's apparently still under that blood oath to Nickelodeon, and
3. confused, because he's obviously too old to play a kid and too young to play a parent, and the fairies are apparently going to be CGI. Maybe he's slated to play pop star Chip Skylark?

But no. According to Just Jared Jr., Drake will be playing 10-year-old Timmy Turner.

omg that outfit


On the one hand, this is kind of terrible. The movie (about Timmy's refusal to grow up) looks terrible, the hook of the plot (hotting up the crazy nerd in order to make Timmy want to grow up) sounds terrible, and the effect this will have on Drake's career will probably be terrible.

But on the other hand...oh my God I am so going to see this movie, because that picture is hilarious.

Next up: Russell Crowe as Jimmy Neutron.