Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Billboard Blues

I work in New York, and every day on my way from my office to the bus station, I walk through the intersection of 7th Ave and 40th St (very near Times Square, for those not up on their NYC geography). Obviously I walk through that intersection on my way to work as well, but on my way from work I'm facing the giant billboards they have up.

A couple months ago one of those billboards was a bunch of celebrities making a pyramid, including Corbin Bleu and Pete Wentz. Corbin was pleasing to me, of course, but Pete Wentz kind of grosses me out, so it was basically a wash.

Then they changed it to the cover of the latest MoFoJoBros album, which, as you can probably guess, made me very unhappy. I try to avoid the MoFoJoBros! I do not need to see them on my daily commute!

This week, it's changed again. It is now Jesse McCartney getting Archie-style lipstick kisses from some girls. And man, you know, if you had asked me last week if there was something that would have irritated me more than having to look at the Jonii every day, I would have been hard pressed to come up with something, but it turns out there is! At least the Jonii are relevant. Jesse McCartney is so irrelevant that I refuse to make a tag for him, and we have two separate tags for Ashley Tisdale.

Look. J-Mac has been pursuing the elusive carrot of fame for like ten years now and never getting any closer. And he ages like a Sprouse (in that instead of looking older he just...ferments). He totally looks like that guy from high school who looked kind of like Nick Carter except he had bad skin and his eyebrows were too close together. This is what happens when you get Lou Perlman to steal you some Carter DNA and then don't refrigerate it properly! It goes sour.

Luckily, in two weeks I'll be moving and won't be walking through that intersection on a daily basis. But I'll still have to go there on Wednesdays when I hit the comic book shop! And so, Billboard Committee of New York, I beg of you to swap this ucky thing out for a different picture. My suggestion: Lucas Grabeel. Holding a kitten.

(Across the street from this billboard is Emily Osment advertising Vanilla Star Jeans. This is much nicer to look at! Emily is about 115% adorable.)


Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure Lucas could sell me anything. Even now that he's bald.

Why stop at one kitten though! Lucas Grabeel and a basket full of kittens! With blue eyes that match his! Wheee...

Claire said...

My suggestion: Lucas Grabeel. Holding a kitten.

I just almost died picturing this. Especially in this outfit (the shorts! the lavendar!) or this one (so many competing patterns!).