I just accidentally watched an episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place. I've been actively avoiding it, since all the promos look so terrible, Jess hates it, and I'm kind of afraid of Selena's Scary Pageant Baby Face, but--while less charming, since it lacks Tizz or Brenda or Slightly Better Sprouse--it's not actually any worse than The Suite Life's early episodes.
Selena and her Scary Pageant Baby Face are not very talented, but she's a better actress than Miley was in her first season, and unlike HM, they don't actually attempt to make her likable or sympathetic. (Oh, and the obnoxious younger brother reeeeally seemed to be doing his best to mimic Slightly Worse Sprouse, which was funny by accident. I didn't know SWS had a recognizable delivery, but it turns out he totally does.)
And there's a studious, nerdy, incredibly gay older brother who just wants to follow the rules. I really can't resist one of those.
Don't get me wrong, the show wasn't anything even resembling good, but the gay older brother made laugh.
In other news, how long as there been a porn-style facial in the opening credits of The Suite Life? I am so incredibly disturbed.