Countdown to HSM: Top 10 Best Things About High School Musical

10. Ryan's HSM3 doll wears a kilt
Becky: The costumes throughout HSM are pretty good -- except Kelsi's in the second movie, I think perhaps she ran over the costumer's dog or something -- but the best thing ever is actually on a doll. Ryan Evans, at least in plastic form, wears a KILT.
Jess: Why a kilt? Who cares! I, for one, hope this is a sign of a future HSM/DuckTales crossover, where Ryan and Scrooge McDuck go back to McDuck Castle in Scotland to have high campy adventures.
(Kilt picture from Molly.)

9. The homoerotic nonsense that is the Suite Life HSM episode
Jess: Okay, Suite Life is basically terrible, but for some reason the repeated joke of Maddie (Ashley Tisdale) insisting that she looks just like Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) and no one else believing her makes me crack up. Other enjoyable things: the ludicrous casting of fey little Slightly Better Sprouse as the slightly less fey Troy, "Floss: The Musical," and the use of a plot point from Singin' in the Rain, which you might have noticed I'm rather partial to.
Becky: I just like to think about the cross-dimensional aspect it brings to Disney. Miley Cyrus -- a real person -- appears in HSM2, so that puts those two in the same universe; but Hannah Montana appears on the Suite Life so that puts those two in the same world; but the Suite Life performs HSM, so...HUH? The pandimensionality is broken! HSM actually broke the universe!

8. Jump In
Becky: It's only fair that if we blame HSM for Camp Rock, we credit it for Corbin's movie, right? And while Jump In is hilariously bad, it's also adorable, and it's Corbin at his best -- playing smug, dancing, and telling a coming out story.
Jess: Did you know boys can double dutch? Thanks to Corbin, I now know they totally can!

7. As bad as the musical aspects are, the return of musicals to mainstream
Becky: Kids are eating the musical thing up, even though what they're being given is bad. SURELY movie makers will eventually catch on and start making GOOD movie musicals, right?
Jess: Oh God. That is my beautiful, beautiful dream. Hold me, Becky!

6. The fact that every little girl I know knows the "All In This Together" dance
Jess: The very first time I saw HSM, my sister jumped up during the finale and did the "We're All in This Together" dance. I've seen kids I substitute for do it, kids at the Disney Store do it, kids on the street do it. It's not brilliant or anything, but heck, anything that makes the world more like a musical is okay in my book
Becky: In fairness, though, Jess and I have been the people doing the dance in the Disney Store. Uh, it may be mildly less charming when it's a couple of 20-somethings. Especially if one of them is me. (Zac Efron and I are comparable dancers.)

5. The launching of Lucas Grabeel's career (hopefully)
Jess: Lucas is the only - I repeat, the only good actor in the first HSM, and remains the best in HSM2. He's the strongest singer in the cast (God, his voice!), and just behind Corbin in dancing. And he is completely adorable. Please let this boy become wildly famous, gods of the universe. Please.
Becky: As the shallow one, I feel obligated add: Lucas isn't exactly hard on the eyes, either. If anyone deserves to get out of this franchise alive, it's him.

4. The ultimate message: it's totally cool to be who you are, no one has to live in a single little box, and we should embrace our differences and still be BFF
Becky: HSM has been referred to as a new generation's Grease, but there's one major difference. At the end of Grease, Sandy gives up on who she is and what she believes in so she can get the dreamy boy (at least, if you're willing to believe Travolta is dreamy). So to give credit where it's due, HSM is much better -- if for nothing else than because at the end, it's all about being true to who you are.
Jess: We refer here to the first movie, of course - the message of the second movie seems to be "Don't do drugs, because you'll turn orange and start seeing giant clocks and crazy girls in wedding dresses and stuff."

3. Gabriella's understated independence
Jess: Vanessa's no great shakes as an actress, and I went into HSM2 not liking Gabriella very much at all. That changed when I saw her behavior towards Troy.
Becky: I'm now going to project my own issues wildly onto Gabi. See, when I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who I was desperately, passionately in love with, and he with me. Except he was extremely jealous and possessive, and as a direct result, I was miserable for well over a year. But I didn't get why, or what I could do about it -- hey, I was 15. And when the thought did flicker through my mind that maybe I would be happier without him, I was overwhelmed by guilt: I loved him, why wasn't that enough? He'd feel awful if we broke up; I couldn't do that to him.

So it actually means a lot to me to see Gabi as a role model for girls in the second movie. Because Troy is a complete tool, and blows her off, and treats her really badly. And she breaks up with him, because she knows that she deserves to be happy. Their exchange in "Gotta Go My Own Way" is actually really brilliant in that regard. She knows what's right, and she does it. She doesn't need Troy to be happy. And yes, that is what I want girls to see on TV.

Also, when refusing to buy into Sharpay's games, her disgusted delivery of, "What's the prize, Troy?" is pretty much accidental genius.

2. An ethnically and visually varied cast
Jess: Oh, and hey, speaking of good role models, how about a Latina heroine (Vanessa's multiracial but Gabi seems to be straight-up Latina, not that it matters) and two interracial couples (Troy/Gabi and Sharpay/Zeke, if the latter counts as a couple)? That's pretty cool. I hear Martha gets to be head cheerleader in HSM3, as well - that's pretty freaking awesome, even if KayCee kind of gives me a headache.
Becky: HSM actually as a cast that isn't 100% caucasian, heterosexual, and skinny. That shouldn't be an accomplishment, but you know what? It is. Let's hope the rest of TV follows.

1. Ryan Evans
Becky: We snark about how incredibly, mind-bogglingly gay Ryan is a lot on this blog. We have an entire category dedicated to it. And -- okay, we mostly do it because it's funny. But the punchline isn't, "Heh, heh, he's gay." The punchline is that Disney, a corporation not exactly known for taking progressive stances, has provided a beloved, respected, positively-portrayed character, who happens to be flamingly gay. And has aimed this character to kids -- kids who are still forming opinions on what is normal and socially-acceptable behavior. And I want to live in a world where no one thinks real kids who happen to be like Ryan Evans are anything but normal.
Jess: Yes, Disney will tell you that they're not dealing with sexuality in these movies and jump through endless verbal hoops to keep from admitting that Ryan is gay. And yeah, it really, really sucks that they can't just have him be gay and have that be the end of it (let alone let him have a love interest. I mean, outside of "I Don't Dance"). But hey. Ryan Evans loves what he does and who he is. Everyone should have a role model like that.

We'll be seeing the movie at a late showing tonight and will likely fall down exhausted as soon as we get home. So our review will be up at some point tomorrow. In the mean time, though, enjoy the best number from the franchise so far. (Will it be topped? We shall see tonight!)

Countdown to HSM3: Ryan's Top 10 Gayest Moments

So your bloggers here at Tweenage are somewhat excited about next week's opening of High School Musical 3: Senior Year, a movie that will doubtlessly define a generation. Not our generation, but that's not the point. We've got our tickets and are busy getting ourselves psyched up -- and of course we need to share the fun. So for the next week, we'll be doing a countdown to HSM3, posting daily Top 10 lists that explore some of our favorite movie moments. Starting with a countdown that is near and dear to our hearts:

Ryan's Top 10 Gayest Moments

• 10. "Golden Throat? This is Jazz Square."
  Becky: I suspect the only way this could be gayer is if Ryan's nickname was Golden Throat.
  Jess: I'm sure among certain special interest groups it is. And by "certain special interest groups," I mean the dudes he has sex with.




• 9. Ryan: Hi, Mommy!
  Mrs. Evans: Ducky! How's my dashing boy?
  (They kiss their fingertips and touch them together; then Ryan joins his mother at yoga.)
  Mrs. Evans: Tell Pumpkin if she worries she'll get frown lines.
  Ryan (sighing, resigned): I told her twice.
  Jess: Lucas's fey body language helps this one along, but you get the feeling Ryan is a mama's boy because he actually just really likes doing all the stuff she does. He's gonna make an awesome trophy wife someday.
  Becky: Y'all, Ryan Evans knows from skin care regimes. Is all I'm saying.




• 8. Ryan's verse of We're All in This Together
  Jess: Or, more specifically, his pelvic thrusts during his verse of "We're All in This Together," followed by his being carried aloft by ranks of nubile male athletes.
  Becky: I don't think there's anything I can add to that.




• 7. "I'd say Troy Bolton has that sewn up."
  Becky: This is another body language heavy one -- let's just say it is very clear Ryan has been checking out the gentlemen of East High. Perhaps he keeps a spreadsheet of some sort, regularly updated with vital statistics like "floppiest hair," and "most orangey skin." (At least, I assume that's what he's measuring by if Troy is #1.)
  Jess: Also, what high school boy uses an expression like "sewn up"? A gay one.




• 6. Bop to the Top: Ryan does the hustle. Ryan also, apparently, does the rump.
  Jess: He also "pops like a mop," but I'm not really sure what that means.
  Becky: Let's just say Ryan is way more in touch with his hips than most guys. You know. Straight ones.




• 5. "Maybe I'll get to meet Ashton!"
  Becky: That's...not even subtextual, is it?
  Jess: No. No, it is not.




• 4.
  Becky: You know, this would be a gay enough sequence just because of the pink and white and the piano playing in the pool and whatnot, but we feel the need to draw attention to Ryan's mouth. And not just because his lips are such a lovely shade of pink.
  Jess: Somewhere, Liberace is smiling.




• 3. Ryan's hats
  Jess: Look, I know hats didn't used to be code for gay, but that was before Ryan Evans came along.
  Becky: Ryan's dad can try and straighten his son's hats as often as he wants, but it just ain't gonna take.




• 2. Ryan and Chad exchange shirts and hats
  Becky: It would be one thing if Ryan had just pulled on Chad's jersey...But Chad is wearing Ryan's polo shirt. These guys have been at least half-naked and sweaty together in a locker room somewhere.
  Jess: Or a dugout, or under a table, or right there on the pitcher's mound...they're not picky.




• 1. AND FINALLY...

The Degayification of Ryan Evans...?

Very important conversation:

Becky: I don't know. On the one hand, there are all those rumors about Ryan and Kelsi hooking up.



And yet on the other hand... Ryan's Rockettes.



Jess: It seems to me that there's a bit of a power struggle going on. The costume department (and probably Lucas) gets that Ryan is gay. But Disney doesn't think so. Meanwhile, Kenny, presumably, think, "OMG you guys, let's have a water fight!"

(Rockette's image snagged from Google; certainly not mine. Ryan and Kelsi, I, uh... completely lost my source for. Yikes. Please let me know if I stole it from you so I can credit properly.)

HSM3 Badness Alert Level: Pebbles Flintstone Pink

Two lovely things to share with y'all.

First:



(Via HSM3: Graduation News) I know I'm late, but... RYAN IN A SHINY BLACK JACKET AND BRIGHT PINK PANTS. And then a white tuxedo. And the SHEER LEVELS OF BITCHFACE. The second half of the video is, I hope, badly cut scenes from elsewhere in the movie, but how excited am I? THIS EXCITED. Ryan bitchface is, like, one of my most favorite things ever.

Second:



(Via Molly.)

TINY CHAD AND TROY! SQUEE! Seeing as how Corbin described the movie as "a bromance" between Chad and Troy, and this appears to be a Chad and Troy duet (in a junkyard? with a headband and flannel? I am so excited for whatever the hell is going on!), I am forced to wildly guess that this is a flashback to how Troy and Chad met. Or else something EVEN CRACKIER than I can imagine.

I can not wait, y'all. For serious.

The Most Important Blog of All Time

A blog which is totally worth subscribing to: High School Musical 3: Graduation News! As in, a blog that keeps everyone up to date on the facts and rumors about HSM3. Which, you know, Jess and I are totally going to end up seeing opening night. Because it looks to be amazing.

Two things from the most recent blog entries, which badly need highlighting:

RYAN'S ROCKETTES, OMG. Yeah, Ryan is the captain of a drill team. Which he apparently named after himself. Oh man, I love Ryan. (Also, from the alleged leaked soundtrack, he gets the movie's only solo song! Can I get a HELL YEAH?)

Second:



From this post. I point out the pic for two reasons:

• Troy looks extremely adorable and oddly not douche-y. Like, to the point where Jess and I had to stop and debate whether that was really Zef or just one of Disney's slightly-younger clones with mildly less stupid hair.
  
• Uh, Chad is offering Troy a handjob there, right? Right.
  

Best. Blog. Ever.

ETA: Thanks to Molly for pointing out my ridiculous spelling errors, and while I'm at it, to Ann for linking to that blog to begin with.

BREAKING NEWS! Ryan Evans is Gay! Also the Sun is Hot and the Sky is Blue!

I got frantic voicemail from Jess this afternoon, demanding I call her immediately because there was big HSM news and we needed to discuss ASAP. Of course I dropped everything to call her back (I don't mess around when there's big HSM news!), leading to the following conversation:

Me: Stop squeaking, I can't understand you! What is going on?

Jess: Ryan! Is gay!

Me: I know!

Jess: You read the article?

Me: What article? I watched the movies.

Jess: In the stage version, Ryan is out! And so far Disney hasn't sued anyone!

Me: YAY!

So here is the article, and in all honesty, I'm too pleased to really snark on it properly. It's not exactly a secret that I think Ryan is totally gay, and this time I'm not even making things up.

Kudos to David Simpatico for making fact what we have all known in our hearts and also brains because, let us face it, it has never exactly been subtle.

High School Musical Cast to Press: "Don't Worry, HSM3 Will Still Be Bad"

You know, I've occasionally wondered if the cast of the High School Musical franchise has any idea how terrible the movies are. And it turns out, they do!

From here, we get some choice quotes. Like, "We're not looking to top anything," from Zef. Then V calls the series out as, "a little over-the-top and stuff," and notes its "utter lack of pretense," though I suspect that bit was paraphrased.

But the absolute best quote is from Monique, emphasis mine: "We're making another movie. I know, personally, I'm not going in there tempted to do it better, but just to do it justice."

"What's lovable about the HSM franchise is that it's terrible," Lucas Grabeel adds. "Just because the third movie is a theatrical release doesn't mean we're going to try and make it good. Also, Ryan will still be super gay."

(Wait. I accidentally made that last paragraph up. Oops.)