So yesterday your lovable Tweenage bloggers went to see Big Time Rush at Six Flags:

(Can you see us? We're on the left.)

Now, we've ragged on their musical abilities in the past. And the last time Becky saw them in concert was...not good. So we weren't expecting much from the band last night. We were just going because we love them, and hey, Six Flags!

You guys. They were actually...really kind of good? I know, we were surprised too!

I mean, the choreography and the execution thereof was subpar, as usual, but they were actually singing (even Nsync didn't always do that!) and they all sounded good! Even Logan! Even James, who was clearly too exhausted from running and jumping and "dancing" to oversing the way he usually does. It turns out we were right - when he doesn't oversing, he's got a lovely voice!

They even sat down and performed acoustic versions of three songs ("Stuck," "I Want to Hold Your Hand," which baffled the small children, and "Worldwide"). "Worldwide" is so much better when it's acoustic, you guys! They've learned how to harmonize! And Becky only wanted to stab James a little during "I Want to Hold Your Hand!" (She has Feelings about Beatles covers.) Also, they invited a little girl up onstage for "Worldwide" because it was her seventh birthday and sang it to her and you could hear little popping noises throughout the crowd as everyone's ovaries exploded. EVEN THE DUDES'.

It was also a pretty extensive set - they played everything on the album except for the two duets and "Oh Yeah" (thanks for that, boys), plus "Famous," "Any Kind of Guy" (really, though?), the aforementioned Beatles cover, and "If I Ruled the World." I consider 13 songs good concert-going value.

Other things to note:

• Logan is still refusing to attempt to learn to dance. STOP THAT, LOGAN.
• Kendall was wearing a boater and suspenders. Jess is torn between horrified laughter and kind of being super attracted to him. She's very conflicted.
• Becky has not been giving James Maslow's hips enough credit. They don't lie!
• CARLOS. Oh my goodness, y'all, Carlos Pena is a perfect human being. He had the best stage presence, he was completely adorable with the little girl, his voice is gorgeous and for once was free of all the post-production nonsense they slap onto it in the studio, he's the sharpest dancer, and he is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PULL OFF WEARING A HAT. We are both nearly 30 and we were chinhandsing in his general direction all night. CARLOS, YOU'RE THE BEST ONE.
• There is nothing more adorable than flocks of children (of both genders!) running around a theme park in homemade BTR shirts.
  

In conclusion, Big Time Rush is actually kind of awesome live, and we are totally going to see them again next time they tour. But they should leave the hats at home.

Except Carlos.

(He's the best one.)

A Fairly Decent Movie: I'm As Surprised As You Are, Timmy Turner!

I love Drake Bell. I think he’s adorable, and a super talented actor and musician, and basically an all-around cool human being. (And I saw him in concert a few weeks ago. I should probably write that up.) Which is why I’m so frustrated with his post-Drake and Josh acting choices, because he seems really committed to cheerfully making terrible movies no one wants to see. (I’m also frustrated with Josh, but that’s less because of his acting choices and more because he’s a pothead.)

I successfully avoided College and Superhero Movie, but I did make Becky TiVO the live-action Fairly Odd-Parents movie last week, mostly out of morbid curiosity. I didn’t watch the show much, which was somewhat after my youthful Nick-watching days and before my weird grownup Nick-watching days, but I was familiar enough with it to be horrified by Drake’s decision to slum it. Regardless, I figured the movie would be terrible and thus good for a lulzy blogpost.

Unfortunately, there are no lulz for you, because – shockingly! – the movie wasn’t terrible.

Oh, it was incoherent. The basic premise is that Timmy, knowing that he’ll lose his beloved fairy godparents (and godbrother) when he grows up, refuses to leave the fifth grade or his parents’ house, and thus even though he’s 23, he’s still basically a kid. But when Tootie, a dorky girl who had a crush on him when they were kids, returns to town all hottified, he starts to consider the benefits of leaving childhood behind. Meanwhile, basically everyone else in the world wants him to give up the fairies.

This means that there are anywhere from three to five antagonists: A mean ol’ businessman who wants to pave over Dimmsdale Park teams up with Timmy’s teacher to steal Timmy’s fairies. Meanwhile, Jorgen Von Strangle tries to force Timmy to fall in love in order to make him grow up. Also Vicky, Timmy’s old babysitter, is in the movie but with basically nothing to do. And Tootie/love itself is its own conflict.

So everything happens really fast, there’s not enough time given to any characters or relationships to make the payoffs work, and I was honestly kind of lost. Plus the vague attempts to make the movie cartoony didn’t really work. And there’s a brief scene where Cosmo and Wanda turn into humans, because apparently Jason Alexander and Cheryl Hines had nothing better to do with their time (the creepy-looking CGI characters are voiced by their regular actors for the bulk of the movie). And no one seemed particularly skeptical of or surprised by the fairies.

And yet the movie…kind of works? And that’s 80% because of Drake, who, bless his soul, totally goes for it and makes you believe that he’s this earnest, fun-loving little manchild. (It helps that Drake Bell is one of the Fair Folk, and boyishly adorable.) Timmy is a delight all the way through, and while I don’t think this movie was necessarily the right choice for Drake, Drake was clearly the right choice for this movie.

Another 15% of the credit goes to Daniella Monet, who also totally throws herself into the role of Tootie. (Actually, no one phones it in in this, which is more than you can say for the typical DCOM. Also, the production values are much better.) I still can’t sit through an episode of Victorious, but the supporting ladies of the cast are growing on me. And 5% of the credit goes to Timmy’s random little kid friends, who get all the best lines, and one of whom is wearing a Jughead hat for no particular reason.

There were some gross gender-related issues in the movie, mostly involving Timmy’s friends AJ and Chester refusing to help him save his godparents and Tootie unless he magically coerced some hot girls into dating him, and the awful dynamics of Cosmo and Wanda’s marriage (she nags him! he insults her! hilarious!). But for the most part, the movie, while not good by any stretch of the imagination, wasn’t really bad either. And for a live action made-for-TV special based on a cartoon, what more can you ask?

Are you tired of being told you can't meet your cute teen idols?

So here's the thing: in the months since I first posted about Big Time Rush, I've come to really, really love the TV show. It's pretty much the only tween/teen show I point to and say, "No, it's actually good," as opposed to, "It's completely ludicrous but I can't stop watching it." (Though that's true, too.) I've got basically every episode of the show saved on my TiVo and have no compunctions about making people who visit my apartment watch them.

And then I found out there would be a BTR concert today. I was kind of curious, because boy bands aren't really The Big Thing right now, and I wanted to see how kids from their actual demographic respond to them. Curious enough to go, though? ... Well, yes, once I found out the concert was free. Jess couldn't make it, alas, so my poor sister agreed to go with me (though she insisted on pretending to be my mom to explain why she was there).

BTR, of course, was headlining this show, in as much as one can headline a free show hosted by the Macy's Back To School Sale. The complete rundown:

1) Victoria Justice, who didn't actually perform. She was the host, along with some guy from Macy's. Judging by her MC skills, I'm really, really glad she didn't sing. She was almost extraordinarily not good; she sounded like she was reading off a cue card, badly, and kept mumbling barely audibly, and failed to be charming or entertaining or even energetic. On the other hand, the guy from Macy's was worse -- he introduced her as Victoria Jones -- but not worse enough to make her look decent by comparison. Look, Victoria, I'm trying not to hate you just because I hate your show, but you're making it hard.

2) The first act was Internet Sensation Josh Golden. I had heard of him from a couple of tween blogs, which were pushing him as "OMG the next Justin Bieber!!!1!" because he was also discovered through YouTube. Now, I don't personally love the Bieb, but I can assure you, Josh Golden is no Justin Bieber. The best thing about his performance was that he only played three songs. The worst thing was that he played at all.

3) Next up was Cherice As Seen on Oprah and Ellen. From our vantage point half a block away and behind a bush, she appeared to be 10 years old, and so I was incredibly impressed by her performance. As it turns out, she's 18, not 10, so it was slightly less impressive, but I have to give it to her: the girl has a voice. I didn't particularly love her music, but I'm always excited when I discover a singer who can actually sing.

4) Which leads us to Big Time Rush. Now, I'm just old enough to remember the 90s creed that if anyone had ever heard of you, you weren't cool anymore; and the idea of being pre-packaged by The Man in any way was the kiss of death. And as I said, boybands haven't really hit this generation yet, so I wanted to see how people were actually responding to BTR as a band.

The answer is "adorably." There were maybe 500 people there, mostly tween girls and their parents. There were dozens of home made t-shirts and a couple of full on costumes from the show. Lots of overheard, "But MOM, I KNOW the show is free but we have to buy stuff at Macy's to get the pass to meet them! I NEED to meet them, Mom! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! IF I DON'T GET TO MEET JAMES I'LL DIE!!!" Unwilling to fight 12 year olds for a good view of the band (what with being grown ups and all) we weren't nearly close enough to see the crying and swooning girls, but since we'd gotten there an hour early and the front section was already full of devotees, I'm pretty sure they were there.

In short, the crowd loved the band, and the band, to their credit, wasn't dreadful. They were lipsynching -- so far, nothing from their show has convinced me they can hit 4-part harmony live -- but they had more presence than I expected. They only did three songs, which Rachel rather cynically suggests was because that's all they've got choreographed. Since the choreography was directly from the TV show I suspect she's right. Their choreography wasn't terribly complex, but it was athletic and high-energy, and...

Look. There were four cute, non-threatening, clean-cut teenage boys*. They were (sorta) singing and dancing in unison. There were screaming girls and harried-but-patient parents. Their songs are up-beat and earwormy as hell, and that's all I could have asked. I don't think I'd have paid to see them (especially not because it was only three songs), but as it stood? Totally worth the hour spent standing outside Macy's.

Though it would have been a better hour without Victoria Justice and Internet Sensation Josh Goldsen. They were really bad, you guys.

*Actually, they're all 20, but close enough.

Photo from Tall Blonde and Eyebrows.