Boyz II Men: I'll Make Love to You (1994)
Showing posts with label music videos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music videos. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Friday Flashback, and a Discussion Question
Britney Spears: ...Baby One More Time (1998)
Christina Aguilera: Genie in a Bottle (1999)
Christina Aguilera: Genie in a Bottle (1999)
I recently watched the "Genie in a Bottle" music video for the first time in a while, and I was shocked at how blatantly sexual it is. Not because I felt the need to clutch my pearls or anything, but because I don't remember any controversy about it, whereas I do remember people talking about the "...Baby One More Time" video like the world had come to an end.
But Christina's midriff is just as bare as Britney's, and the song is far more suggestive. While Britney did a cheerful little dance and some gymnastics, Christina spends most of "Genie" rolling around on the beach at night in tiny shorts, and at one point writhing on the hood of a car like the B-roll from a heavy metal video.
(Please note that I think "Genie" is a fantastic video and I am not trying to imply that Christina did anything wrong. I'm just noting that the sexuality is more overt than in "...Baby.")
So why the lack of controversy? Was it because Christina was over 18 at the time, and Britney wasn't? Because Christina didn't combine that sexuality with the trappings of childhood (the infamous schoolgirl uniform)? Because Christina is biracial, and biracial women are stereotyped as being more sexual and can thus "get away" with acting sexier? Or were we as a culture simply inured to the concept of blonde teenagers' bellybuttons at this point?
Let me know what you think! Once you're done watching the videos and reminiscing, that is. It's okay, I'll wait.
But Christina's midriff is just as bare as Britney's, and the song is far more suggestive. While Britney did a cheerful little dance and some gymnastics, Christina spends most of "Genie" rolling around on the beach at night in tiny shorts, and at one point writhing on the hood of a car like the B-roll from a heavy metal video.
(Please note that I think "Genie" is a fantastic video and I am not trying to imply that Christina did anything wrong. I'm just noting that the sexuality is more overt than in "...Baby.")
So why the lack of controversy? Was it because Christina was over 18 at the time, and Britney wasn't? Because Christina didn't combine that sexuality with the trappings of childhood (the infamous schoolgirl uniform)? Because Christina is biracial, and biracial women are stereotyped as being more sexual and can thus "get away" with acting sexier? Or were we as a culture simply inured to the concept of blonde teenagers' bellybuttons at this point?
Let me know what you think! Once you're done watching the videos and reminiscing, that is. It's okay, I'll wait.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Didja hear me say that?
Okay, internet, here is a secret I have been keeping for awhile: I like Miranda Cosgrove much better as a singer than an actress. I mean, she's not… she's not a terrible actress or anything, but as Jess pointed out a few years ago, she's awkward as heck. It doesn't help that her main platform is iCarly, on which she plays the blandest character of the bunch. But her songs are enjoyable! They are very bubblegum, which is a thing I enjoy, and her voice is quite nice -- on the one hand, I don't think it's anything stand out or unusual (she lacks any of the qualities that make Miley distinct) but on the other hand, she avoids both the "yelling as singing" problem (Demi, Victoria Justice) and also the "replaced by robots because she can't actually sing at all" problem (Selena Gomez). She's pretty lovely to listen to, and while I wish her songs had a bit more to make them unique, I also keep her album on my iPod for when I'm in the mood for girly pop. Which is often.*
So basically, what I'm saying is, I enjoy Miranda as a singer much more than I ever expected to when I heard that the awkward girl from iCarly was getting a record deal. And thus I was eager to check out her latest offering, "Dancing Crazy," when it premiered.
That… that was a bit of a mistake, alas.
Well, okay, actually, first let me say this: I don't hate it as much upon re-listening as I did initially, because the first time I hit the shouty section of the chorus I wasn't prepared for it, and was so very embarrassed for her I was physically compelled to mute it and click away quickly. The thing is, though, that shouty bit is so very horrible it drags the otherwise-catchy song down with it.
It feels very much like whatever army of suit-wearing songwriters put this together realized that she's got the innocent tween thing happening, and because she's not yet breaking out of it by Being Sexy (which is the only way women break out of that, apparently) they tried to find another way to make her seem edgy. So they imported a chorus from, oh, I don't know, an unused Ke$ha song or something, only to realize that Miranda Cosgrove really, really can't pull that off. They kept the concept, watered it down, and ended up with a combination of some of the most inane lyrics I've ever heard ("I like you and you like me / we get together and we're happy") and some that's just outright terrible ("Didja hear me say that? / Didja didja hear me say that? / SMACK" Which doesn't even rhyme).
As for the video, I will say, it isn't dreadful. Miranda is very pretty, and her awkwardness works to her advantage in the few clips of her doing the robot and other such silliness. But aside from that, there's very little actual Dancing Crazy. There are, in fact, a few featured dancers, who are pretty great and do not seem even a little bit out of control or otherwise "crazy", and then a crowd of teens kind of bopping in place. Sometimes they do, in fact, put their hands up, if Miranda implores them to do so. But at least I find the dorky guy totally adorable, which helps.
That said, I worry about the example this video sets. Not because I think kids should never sneak out to go dancing, no! But because it seems to suggest the best way to sneak in and out is the tried and true method of… using your front door at a time in which it's totally reasonable for your parents to be awake and about (11 at night, 7 in the morning). Miranda, how will children learn about crawling out of windows and scrambling down convenient trees and/or trellises and all associated hijinks, if not from you? For shame, Miranda. You have let an entire generation down.
*Also, as it turns out, "Kissin U" is a great karaoke jam.
So basically, what I'm saying is, I enjoy Miranda as a singer much more than I ever expected to when I heard that the awkward girl from iCarly was getting a record deal. And thus I was eager to check out her latest offering, "Dancing Crazy," when it premiered.
That… that was a bit of a mistake, alas.
Well, okay, actually, first let me say this: I don't hate it as much upon re-listening as I did initially, because the first time I hit the shouty section of the chorus I wasn't prepared for it, and was so very embarrassed for her I was physically compelled to mute it and click away quickly. The thing is, though, that shouty bit is so very horrible it drags the otherwise-catchy song down with it.
It feels very much like whatever army of suit-wearing songwriters put this together realized that she's got the innocent tween thing happening, and because she's not yet breaking out of it by Being Sexy (which is the only way women break out of that, apparently) they tried to find another way to make her seem edgy. So they imported a chorus from, oh, I don't know, an unused Ke$ha song or something, only to realize that Miranda Cosgrove really, really can't pull that off. They kept the concept, watered it down, and ended up with a combination of some of the most inane lyrics I've ever heard ("I like you and you like me / we get together and we're happy") and some that's just outright terrible ("Didja hear me say that? / Didja didja hear me say that? / SMACK" Which doesn't even rhyme).
As for the video, I will say, it isn't dreadful. Miranda is very pretty, and her awkwardness works to her advantage in the few clips of her doing the robot and other such silliness. But aside from that, there's very little actual Dancing Crazy. There are, in fact, a few featured dancers, who are pretty great and do not seem even a little bit out of control or otherwise "crazy", and then a crowd of teens kind of bopping in place. Sometimes they do, in fact, put their hands up, if Miranda implores them to do so. But at least I find the dorky guy totally adorable, which helps.
That said, I worry about the example this video sets. Not because I think kids should never sneak out to go dancing, no! But because it seems to suggest the best way to sneak in and out is the tried and true method of… using your front door at a time in which it's totally reasonable for your parents to be awake and about (11 at night, 7 in the morning). Miranda, how will children learn about crawling out of windows and scrambling down convenient trees and/or trellises and all associated hijinks, if not from you? For shame, Miranda. You have let an entire generation down.
*Also, as it turns out, "Kissin U" is a great karaoke jam.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday Flashback: 'Nsync
Absolutely true story: this is the very first 'Nsync video I ever saw, and I remember watching it on VH1 and thinking that it must be some kind of boy band parody, because no one would ever have Chris's hair seriously. Oh, how wrong I was.
'Nsync: God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You (1998)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday Flashback: 2ge+her
In honor of the Big Time Rush special tonight, another semi-fake TV boy band:
2ge+her: U + Me = Us (2000)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Leave it to Bieber
(Okay, that post title has almost nothing to do with what I'm about to say, but I've been wanting to use it for a while and I'm tired of saving it.)
I was on the subway the other day and some guys were doing a sort of dance/comedy act to various recent hits. At one point this supremely catchy song came on. "I kind of like this," I thought to myself, grooving along to the music. "Who is this girl singing?"
Then I realized it was Justin Bieber. Whoops!
The song was his smash hit "Baby," which I then went home and listened to all the way through. And, you know, I was pretty disappointed with myself. I mean, the lyrics alternate between moronic ("And I was like 'Baby, baby, baby, oh'/ Like 'Baby, baby, baby, no'/ Like 'Baby, baby, baby, oh'") and creepily, age-inappropriately commitment-focused ("And we would never ever ever be apart...I'd buy you anything/I'd buy you any ring"), but the song itself is super catchy. I'm not going to lie: I've listened to it about a billion times in the past few days.
But if you're afraid that I've succumbed to Bieber Fever, don't be, because I watched the music video, and it is vile beyond imagining.
[Trigger warning for sexual aggressiveness and stalking.]
The basic plot of the video consists of Bieber chasing his ex-girlfriend around a bowling alley. And I do mean chasing, or at least physically pursuing, and doing the following charming things:
- He grabs her jacket and pulls her towards him, and she pushes his hand away angrily.
- He leans in, cups her face, and tries to kiss her, and she pushes him away (we can't see her face) and walks off.
- He bumps into her, stands directly in front of her so she that she has to stop, and places his hand over her chest, almost but not quite touching her breasts, and she pushes him away angrily.
- He dances over to her as she sits on a stool and sits on the next one as she sidles away, then leans into her until she stands and walks away, with an epic hair toss.
- As she walks down some sort of ramp he keeps pace with her on the railing, at one point reaching down to grab her shoulder briefly and then letting go as she looks up at him; then she walks away.
- He chases her around and over a pool table and presses his forehead to hers. She's clearly weakening, because she gives a little exasperated smile to the camera as she (you guessed it) walks away.
Then they have a danceoff, which I guess wins her over? He slowly progresses closer and closer to her over the course of it, and finally places a hand on the small of her back and pulls her hips flush against his own. They sway with their foreheads touching, then Ludacris gives him a "Way to go, dude" high-five/handshake, and Bieber and the girl walk out of the bowling alley hand in hand.
Groooooooooss.
I watched the rest of Bieber's music videos today, and two of the others also involve him being a creepy, creepy stalker who follows a teenage girl of color around a colorful set until she falls for him, but this one grossed me out the most. SHE IS PUSHING YOU AWAY, DUDE. PHYSICALLY, WITH HER HANDS. And yet he still persists! So here are the messages I've gotten from this video:
1. It's totally okay to stalk your ex-girlfriend.
2. It's also totally okay to keep bothering a girl who wants you to leave her alone. You can wear her down!
3. You can touch her if you want. Her body is not inviolate.
4. If a girl acts like she doesn't like you, she probably thinks you're cute and charming and wants you to keep harassing her.
5. Ludacris will like you if you do these things.
I don't blame Bieber himself for this video, or for the other ones where he's Creepy McCreepenstein. He's like, what, four and a half? He doesn't direct these things. And I will give him credit: when he's not Autotuned to within an inch of his life, he has an impressive voice, and I was pleasantly surprised by his dancing ability. He's a talented kid!
But good lord, do his videos give me the skeeve. Usher or whoever else is guiding this kid's music video career, could you please dial down the creepy like, 20 notches? Because right now they just make me want to boil my eyes in order to clean them. And I'm horrified that the 8-year-olds who love him may be basing their romantic fantasies on the horrendous little dramas Bieber is playing out for us.
I was on the subway the other day and some guys were doing a sort of dance/comedy act to various recent hits. At one point this supremely catchy song came on. "I kind of like this," I thought to myself, grooving along to the music. "Who is this girl singing?"
Then I realized it was Justin Bieber. Whoops!
The song was his smash hit "Baby," which I then went home and listened to all the way through. And, you know, I was pretty disappointed with myself. I mean, the lyrics alternate between moronic ("And I was like 'Baby, baby, baby, oh'/ Like 'Baby, baby, baby, no'/ Like 'Baby, baby, baby, oh'") and creepily, age-inappropriately commitment-focused ("And we would never ever ever be apart...I'd buy you anything/I'd buy you any ring"), but the song itself is super catchy. I'm not going to lie: I've listened to it about a billion times in the past few days.
But if you're afraid that I've succumbed to Bieber Fever, don't be, because I watched the music video, and it is vile beyond imagining.
[Trigger warning for sexual aggressiveness and stalking.]
The basic plot of the video consists of Bieber chasing his ex-girlfriend around a bowling alley. And I do mean chasing, or at least physically pursuing, and doing the following charming things:
- He grabs her jacket and pulls her towards him, and she pushes his hand away angrily.
- He leans in, cups her face, and tries to kiss her, and she pushes him away (we can't see her face) and walks off.
- He bumps into her, stands directly in front of her so she that she has to stop, and places his hand over her chest, almost but not quite touching her breasts, and she pushes him away angrily.
- He dances over to her as she sits on a stool and sits on the next one as she sidles away, then leans into her until she stands and walks away, with an epic hair toss.
- As she walks down some sort of ramp he keeps pace with her on the railing, at one point reaching down to grab her shoulder briefly and then letting go as she looks up at him; then she walks away.
- He chases her around and over a pool table and presses his forehead to hers. She's clearly weakening, because she gives a little exasperated smile to the camera as she (you guessed it) walks away.
Then they have a danceoff, which I guess wins her over? He slowly progresses closer and closer to her over the course of it, and finally places a hand on the small of her back and pulls her hips flush against his own. They sway with their foreheads touching, then Ludacris gives him a "Way to go, dude" high-five/handshake, and Bieber and the girl walk out of the bowling alley hand in hand.
Groooooooooss.
I watched the rest of Bieber's music videos today, and two of the others also involve him being a creepy, creepy stalker who follows a teenage girl of color around a colorful set until she falls for him, but this one grossed me out the most. SHE IS PUSHING YOU AWAY, DUDE. PHYSICALLY, WITH HER HANDS. And yet he still persists! So here are the messages I've gotten from this video:
1. It's totally okay to stalk your ex-girlfriend.
2. It's also totally okay to keep bothering a girl who wants you to leave her alone. You can wear her down!
3. You can touch her if you want. Her body is not inviolate.
4. If a girl acts like she doesn't like you, she probably thinks you're cute and charming and wants you to keep harassing her.
5. Ludacris will like you if you do these things.
I don't blame Bieber himself for this video, or for the other ones where he's Creepy McCreepenstein. He's like, what, four and a half? He doesn't direct these things. And I will give him credit: when he's not Autotuned to within an inch of his life, he has an impressive voice, and I was pleasantly surprised by his dancing ability. He's a talented kid!
But good lord, do his videos give me the skeeve. Usher or whoever else is guiding this kid's music video career, could you please dial down the creepy like, 20 notches? Because right now they just make me want to boil my eyes in order to clean them. And I'm horrified that the 8-year-olds who love him may be basing their romantic fantasies on the horrendous little dramas Bieber is playing out for us.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Miscellanea
I haven't posted here in forever, have I? I suck. In lieu of actual posts containing the hard-hitting making-fun-of-the-Jonas-Brothers you've come to expect from Tweenage, have some quick links 'n' stuff:
- This picture made me laugh because it's so hilariously emblematic of the HP kids. Bonnie: 16 going on 40. Man Radcliffe: Looking like the world's most formal elfin interior decorator. Emma: Rocking an age-appropriate trend that I would probably loathe on anyone else. Rupert: Looking unaware that the British do not generally make stoner comedies, so he can probably stop being all method about it; also, like a hobo. Tom: Not as cool as he thinks he is. And I don't know who that other dude is.
- Dylan and Cole Sprouse Play Video Games with the Eldery. I seriously thought that was an Onion headline at first.
- Just for Becky: Esteban returns to Suite Life! Set the TiVo!
- Okay, a little making fun of the Jonas Brothers, from the always-fabulous Kate Beaton.
- And finally, in the spirit of the holiday, have some Alyson Stoner, who is far more adorable and talented than Camp Rock would lead you to believe:
- This picture made me laugh because it's so hilariously emblematic of the HP kids. Bonnie: 16 going on 40. Man Radcliffe: Looking like the world's most formal elfin interior decorator. Emma: Rocking an age-appropriate trend that I would probably loathe on anyone else. Rupert: Looking unaware that the British do not generally make stoner comedies, so he can probably stop being all method about it; also, like a hobo. Tom: Not as cool as he thinks he is. And I don't know who that other dude is.- Dylan and Cole Sprouse Play Video Games with the Eldery. I seriously thought that was an Onion headline at first.
- Just for Becky: Esteban returns to Suite Life! Set the TiVo!
- Okay, a little making fun of the Jonas Brothers, from the always-fabulous Kate Beaton.
- And finally, in the spirit of the holiday, have some Alyson Stoner, who is far more adorable and talented than Camp Rock would lead you to believe:
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I'm counting the days since I began to live without you
Okay, so he looks more like Ally Sheedy than ever. And the video is basically a long form iPod commercial.
But wow, I really like this song. It's catchy, and the lyrics aren't totally mindless, and he's a good singer! I've listened to it three times already! Arrrgh. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line I became a person who is eagerly anticipating Mitchel Musso's debut album.
...Don't start a tween blog, folks. You'll wind up a stranger to yourself.
Monday, March 23, 2009
It's such a fun and natural sight
You might recall that when we watched Camp Rock, we were most disappointed in Alyson Stoner, who we love, and who was just as awful in that movie as everyone and everything else. But we do not blame Alyson, no. We realize that Camp Rock is a void of suckitude from which no talent can possibly escape. And to prove that Alyson is actually good at things when not surrounded by Jonii, we offer this:
Yes, it's for Space Buddies, a movie I would rather chew glass than watch. And yes, the choreography is fairly goofy (my favorite is the heel click towards the end). But Alyson is so adorable! And she is such a good dancer! (Before her stint on The Suite Life, she was best known as "the girl from the Missy Elliott videos.") And hey, she can actually sing pretty well, which I did not know!
Oh, Alyson. You're back in my heart. Aw, heck, you know you never really left.
Yes, it's for Space Buddies, a movie I would rather chew glass than watch. And yes, the choreography is fairly goofy (my favorite is the heel click towards the end). But Alyson is so adorable! And she is such a good dancer! (Before her stint on The Suite Life, she was best known as "the girl from the Missy Elliott videos.") And hey, she can actually sing pretty well, which I did not know!
Oh, Alyson. You're back in my heart. Aw, heck, you know you never really left.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Mitchel Musso, Sandwich Boy
We’re down with Mitchel Musso here at Tweenage. He just seems to be some guy, like maybe Hannah Montana was originally conceived, pitched, and written with only one best friend for Miley, and it was only when they started filming that they realized that they’d forgotten to give her the Disney-mandated best friends of each gender, and Mitchel happened to be on the set, delivering sandwiches for the local deli or something, and got the job. I can see it now: the cast and crew in a panic, scripts flying everywhere, Billy Ray clinging to his own hair for comfort. Mitchel pulls up on his motorized scooter, possibly wearing a visor that says “Musso’s Meats” or something.
Producer: Dammit, how could you let this happen? You know what Walt said before they froze him! Every Disney Channel show protagonist must have a best friend of each gender! Hilary Duff got it, Shia LaBeouf got it, why don’t you get it?
Mitchel: Sandwich delivery!
Writer: I’m sorry! I don’t know how this happened! Please stop hitting me!
Mitchel: I got turkey, I got cheese, I got what looks like chicken parm…
Producer: I will hit you until you find me a twelve-year-old boy of inoffensive charm! Preferably goofy-looking!
Mitchel: This one says no onions. Who had the no onions?
Writer: But where am I supposed to…hey. How about that kid?
Mitchel: Man, if no one claims this, I’m just gonna eat it.
Producer: The kid with the weird hair?
Writer: Yeah. No one on the show has weird hair yet. Well, except Billy Ray.
Billy Ray: *sobs*
Mitchel: Pastrami on rye! I got pastrami on rye!
Producer: Hey, kid!
Mitchel: Yeah?
Producer: You want to be on TV?
Mitchel: …with the pastrami on rye?
Producer: Sure, whatever.
Mitchel: Um, okay.
And a star was born!
(Courtesy of my baby sister, this mental image: “Who ordered the sub with olives?” “Olives…olives…Oliver! Poryes, you magnificent bastard, you’ve done it again!”*)
My extremely long-winded point is that basically, he’s just a dude, albeit a dude with hair that pretty much defies description. And he does have a sort of goofy-looking inoffensive charm, and he’s not actually a bad actor or singer. And his blog, Moments with Mitchel, is simultaneously the most adorable and most hilarious thing I have ever read (he signs every post with an inexplicably hyphenated all-caps “PEACE-OUT!” and I just want to give him a cookie and tell him he did good on the internets).
But since almost every post we do here includes an embedded YouTube video or a stupid picture of Zac Efron, and stupid pictures of Zac Efron, while hilarious, are irrelevant here, I must share with you Mitchel’s new music video:
I have a post planned on the actual subject matter of the song, so let’s leave that aside for now. And I am still at a loss to explain or define Mitchel’s hair (suggestions are welcome!), so we’ll leave that aside as well.
But Mitchel. Honey bunch sweetie pie. You are not a rock star! Don’t feel bad, I say that to Miley all the time (Pop star =/ rock star, Cyrus. Learn it, live it.). But dude, lighten up, remove the ludicrous neckerchief and boots, and stop throwing up the horns!
I will say that I do like that the Television Nerd Who Actually Looks More Like a Williamsburg Hipster Girl gets the various high school clichés around her to smile by just being her goofy self. And then gets to…stand with Mitchel in his stumpifying boots (Mitchel! The Fug Girls are not happy with you!) while they all…um, resolutely face a…thing? Whatever, it’s basically cute.
But Mitchel, I like you so much more when you seem like you’re in on the joke. And here (and, tragically, here), you really, really don’t.
(Also, I know it’s been done before, but that blank white set reminds me of nothing so much as JC Chasez’s indescribably hysterical “All Day Long I Dream About Sex (With You)” video, which I never want to think about in the context of Mitchel Musso ever again.)
*Michael Poryes, co-creator of Hannah Montana. Yes, I looked up the show’s creator to make that joke. That is the kind of dedication you can expect here at Tweenage Wasteland.
Producer: Dammit, how could you let this happen? You know what Walt said before they froze him! Every Disney Channel show protagonist must have a best friend of each gender! Hilary Duff got it, Shia LaBeouf got it, why don’t you get it?
Mitchel: Sandwich delivery!
Writer: I’m sorry! I don’t know how this happened! Please stop hitting me!
Mitchel: I got turkey, I got cheese, I got what looks like chicken parm…
Producer: I will hit you until you find me a twelve-year-old boy of inoffensive charm! Preferably goofy-looking!
Mitchel: This one says no onions. Who had the no onions?
Writer: But where am I supposed to…hey. How about that kid?
Mitchel: Man, if no one claims this, I’m just gonna eat it.
Producer: The kid with the weird hair?
Writer: Yeah. No one on the show has weird hair yet. Well, except Billy Ray.
Billy Ray: *sobs*
Mitchel: Pastrami on rye! I got pastrami on rye!
Producer: Hey, kid!
Mitchel: Yeah?
Producer: You want to be on TV?
Mitchel: …with the pastrami on rye?
Producer: Sure, whatever.
Mitchel: Um, okay.
And a star was born!
(Courtesy of my baby sister, this mental image: “Who ordered the sub with olives?” “Olives…olives…Oliver! Poryes, you magnificent bastard, you’ve done it again!”*)
My extremely long-winded point is that basically, he’s just a dude, albeit a dude with hair that pretty much defies description. And he does have a sort of goofy-looking inoffensive charm, and he’s not actually a bad actor or singer. And his blog, Moments with Mitchel, is simultaneously the most adorable and most hilarious thing I have ever read (he signs every post with an inexplicably hyphenated all-caps “PEACE-OUT!” and I just want to give him a cookie and tell him he did good on the internets).
But since almost every post we do here includes an embedded YouTube video or a stupid picture of Zac Efron, and stupid pictures of Zac Efron, while hilarious, are irrelevant here, I must share with you Mitchel’s new music video:
I have a post planned on the actual subject matter of the song, so let’s leave that aside for now. And I am still at a loss to explain or define Mitchel’s hair (suggestions are welcome!), so we’ll leave that aside as well.
But Mitchel. Honey bunch sweetie pie. You are not a rock star! Don’t feel bad, I say that to Miley all the time (Pop star =/ rock star, Cyrus. Learn it, live it.). But dude, lighten up, remove the ludicrous neckerchief and boots, and stop throwing up the horns!
I will say that I do like that the Television Nerd Who Actually Looks More Like a Williamsburg Hipster Girl gets the various high school clichés around her to smile by just being her goofy self. And then gets to…stand with Mitchel in his stumpifying boots (Mitchel! The Fug Girls are not happy with you!) while they all…um, resolutely face a…thing? Whatever, it’s basically cute.
But Mitchel, I like you so much more when you seem like you’re in on the joke. And here (and, tragically, here), you really, really don’t.
(Also, I know it’s been done before, but that blank white set reminds me of nothing so much as JC Chasez’s indescribably hysterical “All Day Long I Dream About Sex (With You)” video, which I never want to think about in the context of Mitchel Musso ever again.)
*Michael Poryes, co-creator of Hannah Montana. Yes, I looked up the show’s creator to make that joke. That is the kind of dedication you can expect here at Tweenage Wasteland.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Three is the magic number
1. Mitchel, please stop trying to seduce me while I'm trying to learn about environmentalism. It makes me very upset.
2. I'm glad to see that they're concerned with recycling and alternative modes of transportation in the dystopian concrete bunker where you live!
3. Kid, your hair grows Budnickier by the day. That's not a compliment.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
More on the Kids' Inaugural
It is probably worth noting that I didn't actually check the schedules or list of performers for any events at the inauguration. So when it comes to the Kids' Inaugural We Are the Future Ball, I only heard what made headlines -- the Jonii and discussion of Miley. So needless to say, I was extraordinarily pleased to learn from the lovely people over at LiveJournal's BleuManGroup that Corbin also performed.
Now, while I will doubtlessly spend the rest of the day giggling at the faux-military-police getup he and his back-up dancers wore*, mostly I will be smiling at the idea of Corbin serenading Michelle, Sasha, and Malia. Because I love him. You may have noticed.
* Also, really, exclusively male backup dancers for a dude? That's kind of new and different. If nothing else, at least they are not dressed as ridiculously as his female backup dancers were.
Now, while I will doubtlessly spend the rest of the day giggling at the faux-military-police getup he and his back-up dancers wore*, mostly I will be smiling at the idea of Corbin serenading Michelle, Sasha, and Malia. Because I love him. You may have noticed.
* Also, really, exclusively male backup dancers for a dude? That's kind of new and different. If nothing else, at least they are not dressed as ridiculously as his female backup dancers were.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Hey, another video-centric post!
So this is a new-ish Hannah song? I've never heard it before, and she's got the new wig, so I'm forced to assume this. I actually enjoyed the song; Miley's voice is song and her stage presence has improved tons since the early Hannah stuff.
But.
Miley, WHAT are you WEARING? I don't usually notice the ridiculous outfits these kids wear, but even I couldn't help but stare. It's like Rainbow Bright ate a particularly sparkly meal, and then threw up on Alice in Wonderland's dress and Miley decided that was the best costume to go with the new Hannah wig.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Miranda Wrongs
We don't often mention the Nickelodeon side of the tween world on this blog, but I am actually a bichannel girl. While Disney is the one I'm more likely to leave on in the background, since my hatred of the Naked Brothers Band is possibly even more violent than my hatred for the Jonas Brothers, I was a hardcore Drake and Josh fan, and have been attempting to keep up with my iCarly as a lingering show of loyalty to the Schneiderverse (although nothing can make me sit through an episode of Zoey 101).
Reasons I watch iCarly:
1. Jennette McCurdy. So cute!
2. Jennette McCurdy's hair. So pretty!
3. The theme song. So bouncy!
4. The aforementioned lingering show of etc.
As you can see, I did not list the show's star, Miranda Cosgrove. Now, I like M-Cos. She seems like a sweet girl. She's very pretty, she's got a lovely voice, and she gave Drake Bell a kitten.
But holy guacamole that girl cannot act. She can't even stand in front of a camera without looking incredibly, incredibly awkward. On Drake and Josh she was always putting her hands on her hips in a pose that might as well have been subtitled "I don't know what to do with my hands." On iCarly she's perfected what I call Jokeface; those subtitles would read "I am about to tell a joke. I am telling a joke. Did you laugh at the joke I just told? I am laughing! Ha ha." Because nothing is funnier than a sitcom character who is aware of the joke.
And check out her new (I assume) music video:
I kind of like the song. There's something charmingly retro about its cheery take on teenage romance, like an Archie Comic. And Miranda can actually sing quite well, unlike many young actresses who put out albums.
But could she look more embarrassed and uncomfortable to be there? As my friend Mackenzie pointed out, she comes off like she's never been around children her own age - like an adult trying desperately to be cool for the kids. This is one of the many perils of bus school!
Miranda, sweetie, perhaps a career where you have to look comfortable and relaxed in front of many people is not the career for you. Perhaps you would be better off as a telemarketeer, or miner! I only say this because I care.
And in conclusion: Jennette McCurdy's hair! So pretty!
[Image from Totally Jennette.]
Reasons I watch iCarly:
1. Jennette McCurdy. So cute!
2. Jennette McCurdy's hair. So pretty!
3. The theme song. So bouncy!
4. The aforementioned lingering show of etc.
As you can see, I did not list the show's star, Miranda Cosgrove. Now, I like M-Cos. She seems like a sweet girl. She's very pretty, she's got a lovely voice, and she gave Drake Bell a kitten.
But holy guacamole that girl cannot act. She can't even stand in front of a camera without looking incredibly, incredibly awkward. On Drake and Josh she was always putting her hands on her hips in a pose that might as well have been subtitled "I don't know what to do with my hands." On iCarly she's perfected what I call Jokeface; those subtitles would read "I am about to tell a joke. I am telling a joke. Did you laugh at the joke I just told? I am laughing! Ha ha." Because nothing is funnier than a sitcom character who is aware of the joke.
And check out her new (I assume) music video:
I kind of like the song. There's something charmingly retro about its cheery take on teenage romance, like an Archie Comic. And Miranda can actually sing quite well, unlike many young actresses who put out albums.
But could she look more embarrassed and uncomfortable to be there? As my friend Mackenzie pointed out, she comes off like she's never been around children her own age - like an adult trying desperately to be cool for the kids. This is one of the many perils of bus school!
Miranda, sweetie, perhaps a career where you have to look comfortable and relaxed in front of many people is not the career for you. Perhaps you would be better off as a telemarketeer, or miner! I only say this because I care.
And in conclusion: Jennette McCurdy's hair! So pretty!
[Image from Totally Jennette.]
Important IM Conversations
Jess: Mitchel. No more tank tops.
Jess: Or bangs.
Becky: mitchell, a shirt, put it on IMMEDIATELY
Jess: This is not appropriate sandwich-getting attire!
Jess: HAIRCUT. OH MY GOD.
Becky: seriously.
Becky: Emily looks so hilariously intent and focused in the close ups
Jess: It's like he's wearing a bob wig that belongs to a giant.
Jess: SHE ARE SERIOUS EMILY. THIS ARE SERIOUS SINGINGS.
Becky: it kind of makes me hope they're real life BFFs, though.
Jess: Who fight crime!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
As the Who Whats?
So... Apparently Tony Oller a) exists and b) has a song and music video on the Disney Channel.
Turns out, Tony Oller is one of the kids from ASTHEBELLRINGS (that's the closest I can come to approximating the yelly voice you have to say that in -- have to, like a compulsion). I recognized him, but didn't know his name until I googled it. I must confess: I don't hate ASTHEBELLRINGS. But then, I don't like ASTHEBELLRINGS, either. I have no feelings on it one way or the other, unless, "What the hell just happened my the television?" counts as a feeling.
So here's the weird part: I actually don't hate it. I don't hate Tony Oller's voice, which is not nearly as digitized as it might be. I don't hate the style, in as much as there's a style -- sort of Disney pop meets Virtual Insanity. I will say, though, that if there was a fantasy boyband draft a la fantasy sports, I would totally pick Tony Oller for the role of "Guy who's kind of deep (for a certain definition of "deep" that means "probably writes bad poetry in a journal somewhere")."
But I think my favorite thing is that Disney apparently only has one costumer who has very few ideas (or resources), because at various points, Tony Oller up there is wearing outfits I recognize from Hannah Montana: Rico wears that horrible white thing in the opening credits somewhere, and Jackson wears the cowboy getup in flashbacks to when he first moved. And I can't swear to it, but I suspect the 60s gear was taken from the "Club Twin" episode of the Suite Life.
So I think the moral of the story tonight is that a) I now know Tony Oller's name, and b) Disney could probably be talked into hiring an assistant costumer, if you're interested.
ETA: Wait, what??? ASTHEBELLRINGS just came on and it was starring DEMI LOVATO? Wow, that shows you how little attention I've paid to it generally. Also, let's talk production values, Disney: get some, please?
Turns out, Tony Oller is one of the kids from ASTHEBELLRINGS (that's the closest I can come to approximating the yelly voice you have to say that in -- have to, like a compulsion). I recognized him, but didn't know his name until I googled it. I must confess: I don't hate ASTHEBELLRINGS. But then, I don't like ASTHEBELLRINGS, either. I have no feelings on it one way or the other, unless, "What the hell just happened my the television?" counts as a feeling.
So here's the weird part: I actually don't hate it. I don't hate Tony Oller's voice, which is not nearly as digitized as it might be. I don't hate the style, in as much as there's a style -- sort of Disney pop meets Virtual Insanity. I will say, though, that if there was a fantasy boyband draft a la fantasy sports, I would totally pick Tony Oller for the role of "Guy who's kind of deep (for a certain definition of "deep" that means "probably writes bad poetry in a journal somewhere")."
But I think my favorite thing is that Disney apparently only has one costumer who has very few ideas (or resources), because at various points, Tony Oller up there is wearing outfits I recognize from Hannah Montana: Rico wears that horrible white thing in the opening credits somewhere, and Jackson wears the cowboy getup in flashbacks to when he first moved. And I can't swear to it, but I suspect the 60s gear was taken from the "Club Twin" episode of the Suite Life.
So I think the moral of the story tonight is that a) I now know Tony Oller's name, and b) Disney could probably be talked into hiring an assistant costumer, if you're interested.
ETA: Wait, what??? ASTHEBELLRINGS just came on and it was starring DEMI LOVATO? Wow, that shows you how little attention I've paid to it generally. Also, let's talk production values, Disney: get some, please?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I don't know which side to buy
Y'all. Y'all. I have had Miley Cyrus's new single stuck in my head for five days now, and I'm still not even sure if I actually like it. Check it out:
I think we're going to have to resort to math on this one.
Plus: Girl can sing, and for once she's not overproduced, so you can really appreciate the richness of her natural voice. Take notes, Baby V: this is what a genuinely powerful singer sounds like. +10
Minus: She gets so shouty on the choruses that her voice is kind of wasted. Confidential to Miley: I know you want desperately to be a hardcore rocker girl, but you're 15, you dance (well, "dance") in concert, and your core fanbase is made up of eight-year-old girls who watch your show on the Disney Channel. You're a pop singer. Embrace the poposity. -6
Plus: On the other hand, there's something endearingly 15-year-old-y about the shouted chorus and tempo change. I totally would have considered that super badass at her age. +3
Minus: The lyrics hurt me in ways too vast to enumerate, starting with the fact that she totally lists more than seven things, and going on from there. -10
Plus: As Becky pointed out, the unsophisticated, vastly illogical lyrics (as well as the shouty chorus) do make it seem like Miley does actually write her own material, unlike the many other pop stars who claim to pen their own music. So good on her for getting her voice out there! I mean, her other voice. Look, you know what I mean. +5
Minus: …No, seriously, "And compared to all the great things that would take too long to write/ I probably should mention the seven that I like…" What? What? -2
Plus: I really enjoy the video. Miley manages to do the whole "I represent all broken-hearted teenage girls" thing without it coming across as arrogant. +7
Minus: Then again, she seems to feel that an oversized argyle vest is the same thing as a dress, which leads me to question Billy Ray's parenting skills. I mean, even more than I already have. (Does he know he has other kids?) -5
Plus: Then again again, she kind of rocks it. Maybe. Sort of. +2
Minus: Okay, I promise this is the last time I'll pick on the lyrics, but she says she's "not coming back"…and then totally tells him how nifty keen he is! Make up your mind, Cyrus! -4
Let's see, add all that up, and…it's a wash. Yeah, that looks about right.
…But it's still totally going on my iPod.
I think we're going to have to resort to math on this one.
Plus: Girl can sing, and for once she's not overproduced, so you can really appreciate the richness of her natural voice. Take notes, Baby V: this is what a genuinely powerful singer sounds like. +10
Minus: She gets so shouty on the choruses that her voice is kind of wasted. Confidential to Miley: I know you want desperately to be a hardcore rocker girl, but you're 15, you dance (well, "dance") in concert, and your core fanbase is made up of eight-year-old girls who watch your show on the Disney Channel. You're a pop singer. Embrace the poposity. -6
Plus: On the other hand, there's something endearingly 15-year-old-y about the shouted chorus and tempo change. I totally would have considered that super badass at her age. +3
Minus: The lyrics hurt me in ways too vast to enumerate, starting with the fact that she totally lists more than seven things, and going on from there. -10
Plus: As Becky pointed out, the unsophisticated, vastly illogical lyrics (as well as the shouty chorus) do make it seem like Miley does actually write her own material, unlike the many other pop stars who claim to pen their own music. So good on her for getting her voice out there! I mean, her other voice. Look, you know what I mean. +5
Minus: …No, seriously, "And compared to all the great things that would take too long to write/ I probably should mention the seven that I like…" What? What? -2
Plus: I really enjoy the video. Miley manages to do the whole "I represent all broken-hearted teenage girls" thing without it coming across as arrogant. +7
Minus: Then again, she seems to feel that an oversized argyle vest is the same thing as a dress, which leads me to question Billy Ray's parenting skills. I mean, even more than I already have. (Does he know he has other kids?) -5
Plus: Then again again, she kind of rocks it. Maybe. Sort of. +2
Minus: Okay, I promise this is the last time I'll pick on the lyrics, but she says she's "not coming back"…and then totally tells him how nifty keen he is! Make up your mind, Cyrus! -4
Let's see, add all that up, and…it's a wash. Yeah, that looks about right.
…But it's still totally going on my iPod.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Hudgentified
Well, Vanessa Hudgens has done it again.
By "it," of course, I mean "released an album so bland and overproduced it makes Aly and AJ look like groundbreakers." Her debut offering, V, was a total snoozefest, and Identified is no different. Check out the video for the first single:
What I find completely fascinating about this is what V is doing with her voice. Normally the Hudge has a piping, chirpy little soprano, with a tendency towards a breathy delivery on her non-HSM songs (and of course every note she sings goes straight through her nose, which should have been beaten out of her by her vocal coach years ago, but whatcha gonna do?). But listen to her wail (well, "wail") on this one! She's doing her utmost to sound like a grownup, getting some Christina in there, some Aretha, some big girl voices going on!
And, well, it doesn't actually work. Because Vanessa Hudgens is a tiny pixie made of spun sugar, a dollop of meringue in a sundress, and meringue cannot wail. But by gosh, she's giving it the oldcollege on-set tutoring try!
It is nice to see her being allowed to be non-Caucasian, after the atrocity of her makeup in HSM2, where they apparently attempted to powder away her natural color, despite the shrieking orangeosity of Zef and Tizz. (I originally referred to this as "flouring" her face, but after Camp Rock went whole hog and had its Latina heroine actually stick her face in a bag of flour, I guess I'll have to stop calling it that.) Also, check the sexuality going on here! I guess once you're naked on the internet you can strut your be-sneakered gams down darkened streets with impunity.
Anyhoodle, the entire album vacillates between this attempt at Big Girl Voice and our usual squeaky robot Vanessa. There's very little that's stand-out good or stand-out bad; it pretty much all falls on a spectrum of "mediocre" to "mildly crappy," with a couple of minor exceptions. "Paper Cut" sticks out at me because it makes me a little concerned for the Hudge: "Your love hurts like a paper cut, so sweet/ Never even feel the slice, it's so deep…" But for my money the What the Hell Award goes to "Party on the Moon," which includes not only the word "astrologic," but also the astonishing phrase "Milky Way hotties." Nice one, V.
(I have to say, though, that looking over online lyrics to this album, I feel a bit gypped that I don't live in Japan. Over in the Land of the Rising Sun they get gems like "Set It Off." Not only does it appear to be about Vanessa's high-tech chastity belt, it contains lines like "Now bend over like Houdini/ And there's no key/ You gotta pick the lock." I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I know it's dirty!)
In conclusion, Baby V continues to run a C average - passing, but nothing to write home about. Better luck next time, Sneaks!
By "it," of course, I mean "released an album so bland and overproduced it makes Aly and AJ look like groundbreakers." Her debut offering, V, was a total snoozefest, and Identified is no different. Check out the video for the first single:
What I find completely fascinating about this is what V is doing with her voice. Normally the Hudge has a piping, chirpy little soprano, with a tendency towards a breathy delivery on her non-HSM songs (and of course every note she sings goes straight through her nose, which should have been beaten out of her by her vocal coach years ago, but whatcha gonna do?). But listen to her wail (well, "wail") on this one! She's doing her utmost to sound like a grownup, getting some Christina in there, some Aretha, some big girl voices going on!
And, well, it doesn't actually work. Because Vanessa Hudgens is a tiny pixie made of spun sugar, a dollop of meringue in a sundress, and meringue cannot wail. But by gosh, she's giving it the old
It is nice to see her being allowed to be non-Caucasian, after the atrocity of her makeup in HSM2, where they apparently attempted to powder away her natural color, despite the shrieking orangeosity of Zef and Tizz. (I originally referred to this as "flouring" her face, but after Camp Rock went whole hog and had its Latina heroine actually stick her face in a bag of flour, I guess I'll have to stop calling it that.) Also, check the sexuality going on here! I guess once you're naked on the internet you can strut your be-sneakered gams down darkened streets with impunity.
Anyhoodle, the entire album vacillates between this attempt at Big Girl Voice and our usual squeaky robot Vanessa. There's very little that's stand-out good or stand-out bad; it pretty much all falls on a spectrum of "mediocre" to "mildly crappy," with a couple of minor exceptions. "Paper Cut" sticks out at me because it makes me a little concerned for the Hudge: "Your love hurts like a paper cut, so sweet/ Never even feel the slice, it's so deep…" But for my money the What the Hell Award goes to "Party on the Moon," which includes not only the word "astrologic," but also the astonishing phrase "Milky Way hotties." Nice one, V.
(I have to say, though, that looking over online lyrics to this album, I feel a bit gypped that I don't live in Japan. Over in the Land of the Rising Sun they get gems like "Set It Off." Not only does it appear to be about Vanessa's high-tech chastity belt, it contains lines like "Now bend over like Houdini/ And there's no key/ You gotta pick the lock." I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I know it's dirty!)
In conclusion, Baby V continues to run a C average - passing, but nothing to write home about. Better luck next time, Sneaks!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
"The greatest collaboration of all time ever made!"
I am so in love with this, you guys. Allow me to present an enumerated list of why!
1. Mitchel! Who knew Mitchel could actually kind of sing? He's sort of dorkily adorable here and I don't know why. I particularly enjoy the line about his handsomeness or lack thereof (although I've seen Metro Station in concert and he is definitely the more attractive Musso). Oh, Mitchel. You can get me a sandwich anyday.
2. Emily! We love Emily here at TW, because she's a) adorable and b) consistently duking it out with Jason Earles for Best Actor on Hannah Montana (although of course on HM "Best Actor" is pretty much synonymous with "Capable of Acting"). The question of whether Emily can actually sing has been tossed back and forth between me and Rebecca since she released the overproduced "I Don't Think About It," which was further complicated by her sounding briefly good in the HM episode "dub." "If I Didn't Have You" has chosen not to clarify the matter, once again overproducing Emily's voice until it sounds like a duet between Mitchel Musso and His Tiny Robot Friend, but that's a hilarious effect, so I don't mind. Plus, look how cute she is! Look!
3. The song itself. It's originally from the Monsters, Inc. soundtrack and was sung by Mike and Sully (Billy Crystal and John Goodman, respectively). I really like pop versions of Disney songs when they're done well (Disney Channel Circle of Stars' "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes" = good; Selena Gomez's "Cruella DeVille" = bad), and I honestly think this is more fun than the original, which is mostly banter sort of kind of set to music. Can you chew scenery in a recording studio?
4. The dancing. Also the fact that Emily and Mitchel yell "Let's dance!" and then don't. Listen to your words, guys!
5. The outfits. I am blind now, but in a good way. It's like radioactive popsicles on parade.
In conclusion, I love this, and will now listen to it ten times.
May I suggest Jason Earles singing "Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide" for the next pop remix? He is tiny like a cricket, do you see? Call me, Disney!
1. Mitchel! Who knew Mitchel could actually kind of sing? He's sort of dorkily adorable here and I don't know why. I particularly enjoy the line about his handsomeness or lack thereof (although I've seen Metro Station in concert and he is definitely the more attractive Musso). Oh, Mitchel. You can get me a sandwich anyday.
2. Emily! We love Emily here at TW, because she's a) adorable and b) consistently duking it out with Jason Earles for Best Actor on Hannah Montana (although of course on HM "Best Actor" is pretty much synonymous with "Capable of Acting"). The question of whether Emily can actually sing has been tossed back and forth between me and Rebecca since she released the overproduced "I Don't Think About It," which was further complicated by her sounding briefly good in the HM episode "dub." "If I Didn't Have You" has chosen not to clarify the matter, once again overproducing Emily's voice until it sounds like a duet between Mitchel Musso and His Tiny Robot Friend, but that's a hilarious effect, so I don't mind. Plus, look how cute she is! Look!
3. The song itself. It's originally from the Monsters, Inc. soundtrack and was sung by Mike and Sully (Billy Crystal and John Goodman, respectively). I really like pop versions of Disney songs when they're done well (Disney Channel Circle of Stars' "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes" = good; Selena Gomez's "Cruella DeVille" = bad), and I honestly think this is more fun than the original, which is mostly banter sort of kind of set to music. Can you chew scenery in a recording studio?
4. The dancing. Also the fact that Emily and Mitchel yell "Let's dance!" and then don't. Listen to your words, guys!
5. The outfits. I am blind now, but in a good way. It's like radioactive popsicles on parade.
In conclusion, I love this, and will now listen to it ten times.
May I suggest Jason Earles singing "Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide" for the next pop remix? He is tiny like a cricket, do you see? Call me, Disney!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Open Letter
Dear Disney,
Look, I think the whole thing where you have some of your stable of children record a song and do a video and intersperse it with movie clips is a cute, fun way of promoting both the kids in question and whatever horrible DCOM you're hoping they'll watch. But look. I'm already planning to watch Camp Rock, even though it has the Jonas Brothers, who I hate with the fiery passion of a million, billion suns. And I get that you're hoping it will be your next HSM-type hit, and that your goal is to make it impossible for me to stop humming Camp Rock.
But can we please at least keep this shit confined to your own station? I do not need to see the Jonii when I am innocently watching cartoons! Batman: The Animated Series is definitely not enhanced by children chanting, "We rock! We rock! We rock! CAMP ROCK!" Seriously. It kind of ruins the mood.
Love,
Becky
PS: Speaking of the "Disney star/mediocre song/terrible video with clips from a DCOM" formula, I direct everyone to Run It Back Again. Lord knows I love Corbin a lot, but everything about it is bad. Except for the moral, which seems to be, "Corbin is too stupid to open doors." Oh, Corbin.
Look, I think the whole thing where you have some of your stable of children record a song and do a video and intersperse it with movie clips is a cute, fun way of promoting both the kids in question and whatever horrible DCOM you're hoping they'll watch. But look. I'm already planning to watch Camp Rock, even though it has the Jonas Brothers, who I hate with the fiery passion of a million, billion suns. And I get that you're hoping it will be your next HSM-type hit, and that your goal is to make it impossible for me to stop humming Camp Rock.
But can we please at least keep this shit confined to your own station? I do not need to see the Jonii when I am innocently watching cartoons! Batman: The Animated Series is definitely not enhanced by children chanting, "We rock! We rock! We rock! CAMP ROCK!" Seriously. It kind of ruins the mood.
Love,
Becky
PS: Speaking of the "Disney star/mediocre song/terrible video with clips from a DCOM" formula, I direct everyone to Run It Back Again. Lord knows I love Corbin a lot, but everything about it is bad. Except for the moral, which seems to be, "Corbin is too stupid to open doors." Oh, Corbin.
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