Perfection.

It puts his love of a terrible mustache to good use, but it's the shorts that really make the costume. I don't say this often, but well played, Zac Efron. Well played.

A Challenger Approaches

Uh oh! Looks like Robert Pattinson is gunning for the coveted TW position of Dude Making Stupid Faces in Wool Hats! Zac Efron better watch his back.

So, what do you think?

Is it for a role, or was Zef just feeling douchier than usual that day?

I've decided to call it "lumberjack chic"

Yes, I KNOW this is the third post in a row that's a stupid picture of Zac Efron, but it's not my fault! Because do you know what his new look did not need?



Plaid.

Source.

I swear we've covered this before.

Zac Efron appears to be having a moment of silent reflection there. Let us hope he's reflecting on all the bad, bad choices he's made with his facial hair.

Source.

I'm sorry, Zef...

...but no amount of armpit hair can convince me you aren't a Ken doll magically brought to life.

Because it's been awhile...

Dear Zef,



I know you're trying really hard, but you're still not James Dean. Sorry, bro.

Love,
Becky

Open Letter VIII

Dear Zac Efron,



Your mustache is unacceptable.

Love,
Becky

Obligatory Post

Zac Efron's hair at the Oscars: bringing tooliness to a whole new level. Wow.

In profile:




As always, thanks to JJJ.

Bits and Pieces

Some things that have turned up in Google Reader/been sent to me lately:

#1: Exclusive: Metro Station to revive 60s TV show The Monkees

Whut.

So... the elder Cyrus and Musso siblings want a TV show, too. But it's unclear if it's going to be a remake of the Monkees (Trace Cyrus as Mickey Dolenz? Mason Musso as Peter Tork?) or if it's going to be, basically, Hey, Hey, It's the Metro Station. The article doesn't clarify, just says, "They hope to replicate the classic Monkees series," and:

"We thought it would be cool to show everyone what we do in Metro Station. People want to see the reality of being in a band and the life you live doing that.

"Everything would be scripted because reality shows are kind of done."

So, Mason, not the smartest Musso, huh?

And… check me if I'm wrong, here, but a scripted wacky show about a modern band? Um… Yeah, I don't watch the show for the obvious reason, but isn't Disney currently doing that, and isn't it called Jonas? And, for that matter, Hannah Montana? I get that these dudes are hoping to buy some fame from their younger siblings, but yeesh. Leave the Monkees out of it, guys. They did nothing to deserve this.

#2: Speaking of TV, someone we like! Ashley Tisdale Syncs Producer Deal with RelativityReal

Tizz has her own company, Blondie Productions, which is talking with RelativityReal about, one assumes, a reality TV show. Now, on the one hand, I have to assume Blondie Productions was behind the godawful mess that was Picture This. On the other hand, if it's a low-budget reality TV show about Tizz and her very tall boyfriend? I will TiVo the heck out of it.

Bonus Tizz news! She has ditched the extensions and finally is back to her real, actual (albeit obviously dyed) hair. And it is totes adorable. See?



#3: Obligatory Zac Efron News

Because Zac Efron gets photographed a lot, I know he's now see the movie Avatar twice. Both times with Vanessa, the first time with V and her little sister, Stella. I'd like to think that happened like this:

V: But Zac, I promised Stella I'd spend time with her and I don't want to miss seeing you, too…
Zef: Cool. As long as I can wear a wool cap.

Which he did.



And that, friends, is how we get Wool Cap #9. It's pretty similar to #4, except this one looks a little thicker and has vertical ribbing.

A question for the readers...

Does it count as a toolish wool cap if it's actually weather appropriate? If so, we have #9. What say you?

source.

Bwahahahaha

Source.

Zac Efron Wool Cap Watch: #8

FINALLY! After several months of photos where Zef looked like a giant tool -- as he does -- but without his trademark knitted cap, he brings a new one to the mix. It does resemble #7 (also black), but it appears to be ribbed entirely instead of having a ribbed brim band type thing.



Welcome, Toolish Cap #8. You are in ridiculous company.

Because it's been awhile...

...have a stupid picture of Zac Efron.



Source.

My Life: So Hard!

Some days, it's really hard to write posts for this blog. You have to find something ridiculous that a tween star did, said, or wore recently; you have to look through Youtube for silly videos; you need to subject yourself to super over-produced pop music; you need to spend the time to find ludicrous pictures and then write jokes about them.

Other days, Zac Efron talks to the press, and makes everything really, really easy.

Zac Efron in Showbiz Spy, via Rachel:

"On a normal day," Efron told a British magazine, "I'm usually out of the shower and ready to go in a couple of minutes. I'm not a naturally groomed guy."

No kidding! Oh, do go on.

"Someone said to me that guys are trying to copy my hairstyle, but to be honest, this hairstyle is derived from laziness. I wake up and go -- that's it. There's no product in it, nothing.
"If you really want your hair to look good, just don't wash it for a day. That's my secret."

But Zef, we already know that! Please, give us something new to giggle at.

"In high school there were guys who were really tall, there were burly guys on the football team who looked like my dad -- and then there was me, who looked like a little kid. I was a late bloomer," he said.

Wait for it…

"I actually rocked a pubescent mustache for a while. It was so unattractive."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH ZEF.

Click here for a Tweenage Wasteland exclusive picture of Zef's mustachioed years! Or a reasonable approximation there of, anyway.

Morning Open Letter

Dear Zac Efron,



PULL UP YOUR GODDAMN PANTS.

Yours,
Becky

Via Ocean Up. Also baffling: At some point while putting gas in his car, Zef switched out his trucker hat for his trademark "I'm an enormous tool!" wool cap. And if these pictures are in chronological order, he then switched back. I guess he's just loves that devoted to looking like a tool.

Zac Efron Wool Cap Watch: 7 to Start

Really, Zac? A hat and a hood? Do you think that is NECESSARY?

Clearly, something must be done. And just having a whole category devoted to stupic pictures of Zac Efron isn't enough. So now, we here at Tweenage are proud to present The Zac Efron Wool Cap Watch.

If you look over to the right-hand sidebar, you'll see we've started compiling a list of Zef's various ill-advised wool caps. And these are just the ones we're sure are unique, though some of them he wears quite a bit. If you happen to know of one we missed, you are welcome to contribute! Feel free to leave us a comment with a link, or drop us an e-mail so we can add it.

Hoodie pic source

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Zachary, you know, maybe if you showered occasionally your hair would not be so slick that your hat would fall off while you're on stage AT THE FUCKING OSCARS, you jackass.

(At least it wasn't a toolish wool cap, I suppose...)

Good job not falling down or visibly screwing up otherwise, though.

Open Letter, II

Dear Zac Efron,

This is not exactly a hard news blog, but a few weeks ago, we reported on your sex-store exploits, and I made only a passing joke about how you were wearing the tooliest of tool hats.

Then my good friend Margot sent me this:

And aside from being hilarious, there's the damn hat again. And then I was looking through my folder of things to blog about ("stupid pictures of Zac Efron" subfolder) and found this:

And realized you are HOLDING a tool-y wool cap. Playing a hunch, I googled you and found:

...Look. We need to talk. Now, I already know that you don't like to shower, but Zef? Wearing a hat will not cover up that fact. It just makes you look like an unwashed tool wearing a hat. And that's a shame, because, as the blogger here at Tweenage who actually likes you, I think you have the potential to be adorable!

Instead of looking like this:

Here's what you need to do. Take off the hat. And go shower. And if you won't do it for me, do it for Vanessa, please? Because while I'm sure she told you that your collection of wool caps is totally cute, like, a year and a half ago, I am EQUALLY sure that she was lying because she assumed it was just a phase. Not that you would insist on wearing it every day instead of showering, like, ever. You know that really strained tone of voice she's been talking to you in every time the subject has come up? That's because she, like the rest of us, would like to burn the horrific things you put on your head.

So for her sake, for ours, and for your own, please -- PLEASE -- for the love of all that is holy, STOP with the wool caps. And then go buy some shampoo. Maybe even let Vanessa pick out a brand she likes for you!

Yours,
Becky

(PS: Sunglasses do not hide the fact that you are totally baked. Please pass that one on to Vanessa as well.)

Photo sources: here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, respectively.

A very adult post for a tween-centric blog!

Vanessa's already been naked on the internet, and Disney still dragged her back for HSM3. Zef apparently tried like whoa to get out of the movie until they coughed up a lot of cash, but now there are those rumors about HSM4. Perhaps he and V are still worried about getting dragged back in to teeny franchise hell, because this happened:



Yeah, that's Zef and Vanessa posing with a fan. In a sex toy shop. While he wears a particularly tool-ish hat. Check the rundown of the toys in the background here at Defamer.

Hat tip to our BFF Margot.