A Letter, A Video, and A Deep Thought

Dear Obama Family,

Not even you can make the Jonas Brothers endearing. Even if you are the absolute cutest things that have ever, ever happened. Though at least if Malia must love the Jonii, she has the relatively-non-bad taste to like Least Detestable best.

That is all.

Love,
Becky

The Video

Now, some not-really-deep thinky thoughts. Sasha and Malia are becoming famous tweens in their own rights. So do they continue to be mostly media consumers, lovin' on the MoFoJoBros, Miley, etc; or do they become trend setters in and of themselves? Both? Perhaps we could get some kind of wacky TV show out of it -- the First Daughters Variety Hour! I'd watch it. It would have to be better government-based comedy than Corey in the House.

More on the Kids' Inaugural

It is probably worth noting that I didn't actually check the schedules or list of performers for any events at the inauguration. So when it comes to the Kids' Inaugural We Are the Future Ball, I only heard what made headlines -- the Jonii and discussion of Miley. So needless to say, I was extraordinarily pleased to learn from the lovely people over at LiveJournal's BleuManGroup that Corbin also performed.

Now, while I will doubtlessly spend the rest of the day giggling at the faux-military-police getup he and his back-up dancers wore*, mostly I will be smiling at the idea of Corbin serenading Michelle, Sasha, and Malia. Because I love him. You may have noticed.

* Also, really, exclusively male backup dancers for a dude? That's kind of new and different. If nothing else, at least they are not dressed as ridiculously as his female backup dancers were.

Post-Jonii Obama News

This just in from Countdown With Keith Olbermann: While President and Michelle Obama are off attending various balls and dancing, Sasha and Malia are home in the White House, entertaining other politicians' kids. They are, apparently, having a viewing of High School Musical 3.

Definitely vastly preferable to the MoFoJoBros.

A Letter for the President

Dear President-Elect Obama,

Congratulations on your imminent presidency! We here at Tweenage are very happy about it, what with you being a public-speaking genius, a self-proclaimed feminist, a non-crazy person who actually knows, like, where other countries are and stuff, and only a few days away from winning the Dreamiest President Ever competition, which Franklin Pierce has been hogging since 1857.

That said, we fear you might be starting your presidency off on the wrong foot by inviting the Jonas Brothers to play at the Inaugural Ball. You're very busy being President-Elect and choosing puppies and stuff, so you might not know this, but they're detestable. Two of them are made of wax, and they sing like they're constipated. Plus, one of them thinks he's a cowboy, and I think we've had enough pretend cowboys in the White House for a while, don't you?

We understand that your daughters are under the inexplicable spell of the Jonas Brothers (you may want to ask the FDA to check the nation's elementary and middle school cafeteria lunches for hallucinogens, which might go far in explaining this Jonian popularity), but Miley Cyrus was also supposedly asked to perform, and surely she should be enough, what with her actually being good at singing and all. Please reconsider retracting this invitation to the Jonii. Perhaps you can instead extend an invitation to them to be the first Americans to colonize the sun? I'm sure NASA would be happy to rocket them far, far away.

Thank you for your time, and enjoy your inauguration. Say hi to the Lincoln Memorial for us!

Love and fist bumps,

Jess and Becky
Tweenage Wasteland, America

P.S. You may be amused by this article. Just be aware, they spelled the names wrong. For example, "Joe" is spelled "M-O-S-T-D-E-T-E-S-T-A-B-L-E."